Unpopular Daughter

Just for today
and for tomorrow too
until who knows how long
I will be
the unpopular daughter

I did not send flowers
I did not order something special

I won’t be making the call
wishing the wish
checking the box

It doesn’t even feel
like a choice

The anger is too raw
to be scrubbed away

My need for authenticity
too real

My refusal
to fake it
for the ego edification
of another
even a mother
so full of No

I did not carry all that water
just to be drowned

I did not chop
all that wood
to make a pyre for my soul

That
is not
the enlightenment
I am seeking